Ages & Stages

The Miracle in Loving the Unloved Child

July 7

As I was listening to Michael Hyatt & Michele Cushatt’s podcast “Making Peace with an Unexpected Life,” I was brought to tears.

She has approached the empty nest years as her children are growing up and moving out. She receives a call about taking in three small children, ages four and under.  She immediately thinks no.  She and her husband are past the child-rearing age.  They don’t have time to take this one.  They don’t have the things they need to care for these children.  She’s recently battled cancer, which in itself, is enough reason to say no.

Yet, knowing that these child need somebody to love them and raise them, she and her husband travel to another state to bring them home.

I’ve always had a burden in my heart to adopt an unloved child.  All children deserve loves, yet so many are without parents, without love, without a home.  We’ve never adopted for several reasons.

My husband doesn’t have the same heart burden.
We can’t afford to.
We don’t have the time.
I get impatient with my own kids.

Hearing Michele speak this morning brought me to a realization:

miracle in loving an unloved child

A child needs love from someone more than they need a perfect parent.  They’ve never had a perfect parent, so anyone who would love them and give them what they could of their time and resources would be off so much better than being in tossed from foster home to foster home.

A child needs a place to call home more than they need to have everything you gave your own children.  Your children living at home would be better of to share with these children rather than growing up selfishly playing with the toys and gadgets you’ve bought them.

A child needs a chance at a decent life.  I have read over and over that a big percentage of foster children do not excel in school or graduate.  Imagine the low-self esteem that a child (and someday an adult) carries around with them having never been loved their entire lifetime.

While being a foster parent is hard work and heart-wrenching, it is a sacrifice that will mean the world to a child.  Yes, the child comes to you as damaged goods.  Don’t let that stop you, especially if you are being convicted to love an unloved child.   Michele Cushatt said something that I am unable to quote word for word because I didn’t take good notes, but one word stuck out.  Miracle. She said [paraphrased] “There is a miracle in taking in a child that is not your own — a miracle that far outweighs the troubles and inconveniences that come with that child.”

I am talking mostly to myself here.  I have never acted on this heart burden I have.  I want to though.  I must take those excuses and honestly deal with each on of them and see where I truly am at as far as taking a child in as my own.

If you have the same heart burden, I encourage you to do the same; honestly evaluate with each excuse. A child’s life is at stake here!  I would love to hear from you if you are considering adopting a child or have already.  Also, if you are considering becoming a foster parent or are one already. 


  • Reply
    July 7 at 7:09 am

    This is a great post! I think it is important to also remember that no one is a ‘perfect parent’ it is just an illusion.

  • Reply
    Kelsey Ferguson
    July 7 at 7:43 am

    I love your heart here! 🙂 I think I’ve always known I wanted to be a foster mom. It’s only been in the last year that my husband has been on board with the idea, though. I’m the emotional social worker, and he’s the rational administrator! We are in the process of moving back to our hometown, but once we get settled we plan to take the courses., which is exciting and terrifying all at once!

  • Reply
    Jess Benoit
    July 7 at 10:29 am

    I agree with Stephanie on this…no one is a perfect parent. I loved reading this post…thanks so much for sharing it.

  • Reply
    Mary Collins
    July 7 at 3:39 pm

    What a calling! I think it is wonderful to take in unloved children. I have not taken in foster children but I am currently helping to care for a child whose mother struggles with substance abuse. Many in my family doesn’t understand why I do it. I get no pay but no one else is stepping up to help care for this child and he needs someone. Follow your heart.

  • Reply
    Christine - The Choosy Mommy
    July 7 at 5:37 pm

    Very touching. There are sooooo many children out there that want and NEED a loving family. I feel so bad for them. <3 Christine, The Choosy Mommy,

  • Reply
    July 7 at 10:24 pm

    My husband and I at one point enrolled in Foster Care classes. We ended up getting pregnant midway through the training and decided to stop. It’s still on my heart though. I don’t know what shape it will take in the future as we’re still having our own babies, but I’ve never once excluded it from being a possibility. I truly do feel that God calls us to help these children. Thank you for this post – I love that you highlighted the fact that it doesn’t take a perfect person, it just takes a willing one.

  • Reply
    July 8 at 9:03 pm

    I have always wanted to adopt, too! 🙂 My grandparents were foster parents for nearly 30 years, and I’ve seen the difference it made in so many lives. Sadly, my husband is not on board (yet)! 😉 But I pray that if the Lord wills it, He will soften his heart toward that end. 🙂 Thanks for sharing in the CWB fb thread.
    Jen @ Being Confident of This

  • Reply
    Jaclyn Anne
    July 10 at 6:13 pm

    I think you are so right on this – the thing that matters most is love.

  • Reply
    Crystal Walton
    July 12 at 1:05 pm

    I’ve always wanted to adopt, but I’ve wrestled with the same reasons you have for not doing it yet. In fact, I wrestle with those same things when it comes to having our own children (which we don’t yet). But there’s really never a perfect time. We won’t ever be ready or fully able. But I think parenting is one of the greatest testaments to grace. This post is such an encouraging reminder of that. 🙂 Thanks for sharing it.

  • Reply
    July 12 at 10:11 pm

    I so appreciate that families are foster parents and adoptive parents. It is a tough road but very much worth it.

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